Father

My experience in reading the signs had reached such a level that almost everything that happened around me seemed symbolic, even in the lives of people close to me. So when I applied to the university for full-time study, which seemed like a very sensible step for my mind, but then I heard that my father fell and broke a rib that day, it made me really worried. For the sake of the father too, but since the relationship with the father also symbolizes the relationship with the masculine energy and your vocation, it seemed to me, of course, that the voice of the heart wanted to tell me that I should not walk sideways, just focus on writing and enjoy life.

*****

Isa

Mu märgilugemiskarjäär oli jõudnud sellisele tasemele, et märgiline tundus peaaegu kõik, mis ümberringi juhtub, ka lähedaste inimeste elus. Nii et kui tegin ülikooli päevasesse õppesse sisseastumisavalduse, mis mõistuse hääle meelest tundus väga mõistlik samm, aga siis kuulsin, kuidas samal päeval oli mu isa kukkunud ja roide murdnud, tegi see mind päris murelikuks. Isa pärast ka, aga kuna suhted isaga sümboliseerivad ka suhteid meesenergia ja oma kutsumusega, siis tundus mulle muidugi, et südame hääl tahab öelda, et mis jamaga Sa jälle tegeled, ole ometi rahulikult kirjanik, naudi õnne, küllust ja nirvaanat!

La dolce vita

I watched Fellini's film "La Dolce Vita” and enjoyed its style and elegance. Although I chose this film completely by chance that night, the protagonist's choices (“I’m an entertainment journalist, but I'd like to be a writer, to write something deeper, to write books.”) again resonated with my own choices.

And the end, where he had become an advertising agent and also not-so-pleasant person, reminded me of the times I was working in the field of public relations - and in fact worked as a deterrent. I saw that my hometown had a job offer in marketing and because the city is dear to me, it was almost tempting. Although I didn't really want to work in marketing and fortunately a warning sign was immediately available as a reminder.

*****

Magus elu

Vaatasin Fellini filmiklassikut “La Dolce Vita”, nautisin selle stiili ja elegantsi. Kuigi valisin selle filmi tolleks õhtuks täiesti juhuslikult, siis ikkagi resoneerus peategelase kulgemine teel “olen meelelahutusajakirjanik, aga tahaksin olla kirjanik, kirjutada midagi sügavamat, raamatuid” jällegi väga, tuletades meelde mu enda kunagisi valikuid.

Ja see lõpp, kus temast oli saanud reklaamiagent ja sellega koos ka mitte eriti meeldiv inimene, meenutas ühelt poolt mulle neid aegu, kui ma suhtekorralduse valdkonnas tegutsesin - ja tegelikult töötas ka hoiatava märgina, kohe pärast seda nägin, et kodulinn on teinud turundusspetsialisti ametikoha ja kuna linn on mulle armas, oli korraks peaaegu kiusatus. Ehkki ma ju tegelikult ei tahtnud ja õnneks oli hoiatav märk meeldetuletuseks kohe kohal.

Worthy masters

When I discovered the Journey method many years ago and occasionally started practicing it, my friend, who was a therapist, lived in such a direction that I usually drove there past construction school. There was an advertisement on the wall with the text "The Art of Construction" for years, but in such a background and writing that I could repeatedly read "The Art of Denial".

Years later, when I had lived in new town for several years, but once again I drove past the same place and turned my head to look at a familiar text, I discovered that it was replaced with a new poster! Where was text “School of Worthy Masters”! It immediately made me happy, because that's how I felt, getting closer to mastery.

*****

Väärt meistrid

Kui ma kunagi enda jaoks rännakumeetodi avastasin ja seda aeg-ajalt enesearengu huvides praktiseerima hakkasin, siis mu sõber, kes mind juhendas, elas ja tegutses valdavalt sellises suunas, et sõitsin enamasti tema juurde minnes mööda Tallinna Ehituskoolist. Selle otsaseinal oli aastaid reklaam tekstiga “Ehitamise kunst”, aga sellisel taustal ja kirjaviisis, et suutsin korduvalt lugeda sealt välja “Eitamise kunst”.

Aastaid hiljem, kui olin juba mitu aastat Võrus elanud, aga jälle kord Tallinna sattusin, sõitsin samast kohast mööda ja pöörasin huviga pead, et vaadata tuttavat teksti. Aga see oli asendatud uue plakatiga!!! Kus ilutses suurelt tekst “Väärt meistrite kool”! Nii tore, tegi kohe meele rõõmsaks, sest nii ma tundsin end ka jah, järjest lähemal meisterlikkusele.

Best

Intoxicating beginning of summer, the day after a wonderful party, I also got a package of wonderfully fragrant flower oils. I was completely high on life, the joy inside me was so big that it felt like the roof was flying off.

And then I saw a picture in Instagram with the text: “Life could not be better right now!” Although, of course, it can, always.

*****

Parim

Joovastav kevadsuvi, päev pärast imetoredat pidu, lisaks sain paki imeliselt lõhnavate lilleõlidega. Olin täiesti elust pilves, rõõm mu sees nii suur, et oli tunne, et katus lendab pealt ära.

Ja just siis jäi Instagrami uudisvoos ette tuttava postitatud pilt tekstiga “Elu ei saaks praegu parem olla!” (“Life couldn’t be better right now!”). Ehkki tegelikult saab muidugi ikka, alati.

Crowned eagle

A month had passed since the purchase of the new Võru home and garden, and I invited friends to a little garden party. Before that, I went to supermarket to buy champagne, and while making a selection, I noticed that the Moet & Chandon logo has a small crown, but Mumm's logo a crowned eagle. Since I had suddenly realized just a few days ago how many of my dreams had come true with almost imperceptible lightness again, and my childhood nickname was chick, I took Mumm’s because yes, I really felt like I had grown from a chick into an eagle and crowned too.

*****

Kroonitud kotkas

Uue Võru kodu ja aia ostust möödus kuu ning tegin sõpradele aias väikese peo. Kalpsasin enne seda Selverisse šampanjat ostma ning valikut tehes märkasin, et Moet & Chandoni logol ilutseb väike kroon, aga Mummi karbil kroonitud kotkas. Kuna ma olin just paar päeva tagasi äkki teadvustanud, kui suur hulk mu unistusi on jälle peaaegu märkamatu kergusega täitunud, ja mu lapsepõlve ja ka ülikooliaja hüüdnimi oli Tibu-Triin, siis võtsin Mummi, sest jaa, ma tõesti tundsin, et olen kotkaks kasvanud ja krooni ka pähe saanud.