Bat

Some signs come particularly strongly - one summer evening, when I was trying to fall asleep, a bat flew into the room from the open window. I squealed until my boyfriend helped it back out of the window with a towel… and then of course I went to the internet to research what the bat meant as a symbol and a sign.

It was a pleasure to discover that bats are considered a good omen in the Orient, who predict that the family will suddenly become very rich. He is also associated with changes in life, in which it is worth using all your senses to navigate. I was getting married soon…

*****

Nahkhiir

Mõni märk tuleb eriti jõuliselt - ühel suveõhtul, kui püüdsin uinuda, lendas avatud aknast tuppa nahkhiir. Kiljusin, kuni mees ta käterätiku abil aknast tagasi välja aitas… ja läksin siis muidugi internetti uurima, mida nahkhiir sümboli ja märgina tähendab.

Rõõm oli avastada, et Idamaades peetakse nahkhiirt heaks endeks, kes ennustab, et perekond saab ootamatult väga rikkaks. Samuti seostatakse teda muutustega elus, milles orienteerumiseks tasub kasutada kõiki oma meeli. Ma olin peagi abiellumas…

Starfish

I was traveling by train, thinking and scrolling my phone and looking out the window. Suddenly I noticed that someone had left a sticker with a picture of a starfish on the table under the window. Since I already have a long experience of googling such signs, I of course did it immediately.
Result based on two sources combined: starfish is a celestial symbol representing infinite divine love, also associated with inspiration, brilliance, intuition and vigilance; he is known for his ability to regenerate, so he teaches to heal, renew and make yourself a better person; the starfish speaks of divine love as it is associated with the stars; she is also used to represent the Virgin Mary - the guide and protector of those who navigate difficult waters.
Since I felt that I was sailing in difficult waters at the moment, it was so lovely to read this and feel supported.

*****

Meritäht
Sõitsin rongiga Tartu poole, vahepeal olin telefonis ja vahepeal vaatasin aknast välja. Kuni äkki märkasin, et lauakesele akna all on keegi jätnud meritähe pildiga kleepsu. Kuna mul on juba pikk kogemus selliste märkide guugeldamisega, tegin seda muidugi kohe. 
Tulemus kahe allika põhjal kokku: meritäht on taevalik sümbol, mis esindab lõputut jumalikku armastust, lisaks on see seotud inspiratsiooni, sära, intuitsiooni ja valvsusega; ta on tuntud oma taastumisvõime poolest, nii et ta õpetab ennast ravima, uuendama ja paremaks inimeseks muutma; meritäht räägib jumalikust armastusest, kuna ta on seotud tähtedega; teda kasutatakse ka Neitsi Maarja tähistamiseks - nende suunaja ja kaitsjana, kes seilavad keerulistes vetes.

Seilasin parasjagu tõesti veidi keerulistes vetes, nii et väga armas oli seda lugeda ja end hoituna tunda.

Future

After a big party I was a bit thoughtful when driving to capital, I guess I was also tired. I thought "What do I want next?" thoughts and I guess I tended to limit myself a bit, I wasn't quite in the "Everything is possible!" energy. And then I saw the text on Instagram "Whatever you want in the future, it already exists."

So great. Reminded me to dream big.

*****

Tulevik

Olin pärast suurt pidu esmaspäeval Tallinna sõites natuke mõtlik, väsinud vist veel ka. Mõtlesin “Mida ma järgmiseks tahan?” mõtteid ja vist kippusin veidi end piirama, polnud päris “Kõik on võimalik!” energias. Just siis nägin Instagramis teksti “Mida iganes Sa tulevikus tahad, see juba eksisteerib."

Nii tore. Tuletas meelde, et unista suurelt.

Hell yes

I went to an interview for doctoral studies in university. When I came out, there was a sticker with the text "Hell yeah” on the rainwater pipe. What was eloquent - I first asked my heart which is the most joyful journey, whether to continue to be just a writer or to go to doctoral studies as well.

I understood that the universe said yes - but I had the feeling from the beginning that the PhD was still primarily a project of my ego and therefore precisely a hellish journey. Whereas committing to writing books is heavenly… because that's what I just love and do my best there. So I was very happy when it turned out later that I still didn't get in to this program I first tried, later I chose literature and it was better choice.

*****

Põrgulik jah
Käisin Tartus doktorantuuri sisseastumisvestlusel. Kui sealt välja tulin, oli enne Wernerit vihmaveetoru peal kleeps tekstiga “Hell yeah”. Mis oligi kõnekas - küsisin enne oma südamelt, milline on kõige rõõmuküllasem teekond, kas olla edasi lihtsalt kirjanik või minna doktorantuuri ka. 

Sain aru, et universum ütleski, et jah - aga mul oli algusest peale tunne, et doktorantuur on ikkagi eelkõige mu ego projekt ja seega just nimelt põrgulik teekond. Samas kui raamatute kirjutamisele pühendumine on taevalik… sest seda ma lihtsalt armastan ja annan seal oma parima. Nii et olin väga õnnelik, kui hiljem selgus, et ma ikkagi ei saanud sisse esialgu mõeldud erialale, läksin hiljem kirjanduse doktorantuuri ja see oli parem valik.