RISING FROM THE ASHES

My dear 90-year-old grandmother was hospitalized with a health problem after Christmas. But before that, when I was driving to see her, when I already knew something was wrong, but didn’t know how badly, so I panicked and was close to tears, I suddenly saw an advertising poster by the road with the text “Rising from the ashes”. It gave me so much hope at that moment, showed me the most joyful path… especially since my grandmother was born in the year of the Rooster, so rising from the ashes like a phoenix was immediately associated with her.

Then there was the ambulance, the hospital… but already the next day she was better, and four days later I took her home from the hospital. She did rise from the ashes like a phoenix, incredibly quickly, too.

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Tuhast tõusmine

Mu kallis 90aastane vanaema sattus jõulu teisel pühal terviserikkega haiglasse. Aga enne seda tema juurde sõites, kui teadsin juba, et midagi on valesti, aga ei teadnud, kui hullusti, nii et olin endast päris väljas, nägin äkki tee ääres reklaamplakatit tekstiga “Tuhast tõusmine”. See andis sel hetkel nii palju lootust, näitas kõige rõõmuküllasemat teed… seda enam, et vanaema on Kuke aastal sündinud, nii et fööniksina tuhast tõusmine seostuski kohe temaga.

Edasi oli kiirabi, haigla… aga järgmisel päeval oli tal juba parem ning neli päeva hiljem viisin ta haiglast koju. Ta tõusiski fööniksina tuhast, uskumatult kiiresti pealegi.

TRUE LUXURY

Instagram is of course full of memes, but some are particularly inspiring - for example the one that said: “POV: When you realize the real luxuries in life are time, slow mornings, and the freedom to choose whatever you want to do.”

Since I had just returned to a place in life where I could fully enjoy all of that, I nodded along, saying yes… that's right.

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Tõeline luksus

Instagram on meeme muidugi tihedalt täis, aga vahel mõni rõõmustab eriliselt - näiteks see: “Avastus: kui taipad, et tõelisne luksus elus on aeg, rahulikud hommikud ja vabadus valida, mida iganes Sa tahad teha.” 

Kuna ma olin just naasnud kohta elus, kus sain täiel rinnal seda kõike nautida, noogutasin kaasa, et jaaa… nii on.

SUNNY GLADES

I was basking in the light energy of my writer’s life, spending time reading, writing, and enjoying the happy anticipation of Christmas. I opened the book “God Speaks,” which had repeatedly provided flashes of inspiration, and came across this passage: “Sunny glades. Do not think that suffering is the only way to My Kingdom. There are also sunny glades and flower-lined paths along which people’s hearts are drawn to Me. There are birds and laughter and butterflies, warm, invigorating summer air, and with them - with gentle companions and friends - one can walk the Path of Joy toward the Kingdom of God.”

Beautiful. Such paths suited me perfectly.

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Päikeselised lagendikud

Naudisklesin oma kerges kirjanikuelu energias, veetsin aega lugedes, kirjutades ja jõuluootust nautides. Avasin korduvalt inspiratsioonivälgatusi pakkunud “Jumal kõneleb” raamatu ja sattusin sellisele lõigule: “Päikeselised lagendikud. Ärge arvake, et kannatus on ainus tee Minu Kuningriiki. On ka päikeselisi lagendikke ja lilledega ääristatud teid, mida mööda inimeste südameid Minu poole tõmmatakse. On linde ja naeru ja liblikaid, sooja elustavat suveõhku ning koos nendega - õrnade kaaslaste ja sõpradega - võib astuda mööda Rõõmuteed Jumalariigi poole.”

Imeilus. Just sellised teed sobisid mulle imehästi.

FIERY PHOENIX

Since I was born in the year of the Rooster, I have felt a kindred spirit with phoenixes before. I have also had my fair share of moments of rising from ashes to new shining heights. 

So of course it felt remarkable when the Duolingo language learning app sent me a summary of the year and declared that I am a fiery phoenix in the diamond league… that's how I felt. Risen from the ashes again after drifting into the wrong energies somewhere in the meantime.

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Tuline fööniks

Kuna ma olen Kuke aastal sündinud, siis olen fööniksitega varemgi hingesugulust tundnud. Tuhast uutesse säravatesse kõrgustesse tõusmise hetki on ka omajagu olnud. 

Nii et muidugi mõjus märgilisena ka see, kui Duolingo keeleõppeäpp saatis aasta kokkuvõtte ning kuulutas mind tuliseks fööniksiks teemantliigas… nii ma tundsin end jah. Uuesti tuhast tõusnud pärast vahepeal kuskile valedesse energiatesse triivimist.

ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL

One of my big multi-year projects was successfully completed. When I got to the capital, I drove past an advertising poster, which belongs to a flooring company and I almost always resonate with its messages.

This time too - there was the text “Carpet well, all's well!”, which paraphrased the saying “All's well that ends well!”.

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Lõpp hea, kõik hea

Üks mu suur mitmeaastane projekt sai edukalt lõpetatud. Pealinna sattudes sõitsin mööda reklaamplakatist, mis on ühe põrandakatete ettevõtte oma ja peaaegu alati oma sõnumitega resoneerub.

Seegi kord - seal seisis tekst “Vaip hea, kõik hea!”, mis parafraseeris ütlust “Lõpp hea, kõik hea!”.

PEGASUS

I went to the cinema one night, there was an art exhibition in the lobby. My eye was caught by a painting of a woman playing the piano and across from her stretched out on the crest of a wave, Pegasus, the white winged horse of Olympus.

I was returning to 100% dedication to writing, and this painting reminded me of that beautiful phrase that says, “You play the music that is in your heart, and everything will work out for you.”

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Pegasus

Käisin üks õhtu kinos, fuajees oli kunstinäitus. Mu pilgu püüdis kinni maal, kus naine mängis klaverit ja tema vastas sirutas end laineharjal välja Pegasus, Olümpose valge tiibadega hobune.

Olin tagasi 100% kirjutamisele pühendumise künnisel ning see maal meenutas mulle seda ilusat lauset, mis ütleb, et jaga seda muusikat, mis on Su südames, ja Sul laabub kõik.

WHITE MOOSES

I took the train from capital to south. Across from me sat a cute child in a light pink knitwear, with a row of mooses frolicking at heart level. The experienced sign guru immediately looked: a little girl in pink - a sign that my inner child is fine, the heart chakra is open and clean; the only place where I am still in male energy (white color) is that I am waiting for a certain sum of money and abundance to arrive (seeing a moose means the arrival of a particularly abundant period of life), but obviously the signs just said that it was on its way...

And a week later the waited amount, 20,000€, was deposited into my account.

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Valged põdrad

Sõitsin rongiga Tallinnast Lõuna-Eestisse. Mu vastas istus armas laps heleroosas kudumis, mille peal südame kõrgusel kepsutas põtraderivi. Kogenud märgiguru vaatas kohe: ahhaa, väike tüdruk roosas - märk, et sisemise lapsega on hästi, südametšakra avatud ja puha; ainus koht, kus olen veel meesenergias (valge värv), on see, et ootan ühe rahasumma laekumist ja külluse saabumist (põdra nägemine tähendab eriti küllusliku eluperioodi saabumist), aga ilmselgelt märgid just ütlesid, et see on teel… 

Nädal hiljem see oodatud summa, 20 000€ laekuski mu arvele.

START WRITING

The major renovations to my country house that had been dragging on for several years were finally coming to an end. I was getting excited to start working on the manuscript for my next book (which, among other things, reflected this journey that had lasted for several years). 

At the same time, several people recommended that I watch the series “The Dreamer. Karen Blixen’s Journey” - I have loved her for a long time, but when I delved deeper, I realized that it was about the period in her life after returning to Denmark from Africa, when she initially had difficulty finding joy in anything… which is often what creativity brings back quite quickly.

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Hakka kirjutama

Mitme aasta pikkuseks veninud suured maja renoveerimistööd maakodus olid lõpuks ometi ühele poole saamas. Võtsin hoogu, et oma järgmise raamatu käsikirjaga (mis muu hulgas kajastas seda mitme aasta pikkust teekonda) tööle hakata. 

Samal ajal soovitasid mitu inimest mul vaadata sarja “Unenägija. Karen Blixeni teekond” - armastan teda ammu, aga kui siis süvenesin, sain aru, et see räägib tema eluperioodist pärast Aafrikast Taani tagasi pöördumist, kui tal oli algul raske leida millestki elurõõmu… mille toob sageli just looming üsna kiiresti tagasi.